2017
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8 Letterman Jokes

Joke: Joe...

"They say the guy on the Joe Millionaire show is only worth $19,000. Well, that's not true. With the new Bush tax cut he's actually worth $19,400."

-David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: Win-Win!

"Hillary's book is a big hit and the way Bill looks at it, it's a win-win situation: She's making a lot of money, and she's on tour doing book signings."

-David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: Poor Guy...

"Saddam Hussein's brother-in-law has been arrested by coalition forces. That's good news. They acted on a tip from Saddam Hussein. ... Saddam's three ex-wives have left the country, his brother-in-law has been arrested, boy we are really making his life a living hell aren't we?"

- David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: Not Bad!

"Hillary Clinton has written a book -- it's a 600-page memoir -- eight years in the White House. Six hundred pages, that's amazing. Not bad for a woman who, when she was there had no idea what was going on."

-David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: Good Health?

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"

-David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: Hello Hillary!

If you would have told me three and half years ago that Hillary would be on the show I would have said, "We'll be on the air in three years? That's possible??

-David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: Just hung up on...

"The former governor of New Jersey and the head of the environmental protection agency, Christine Todd Whitman, has resigned. Did you hear about this? Two reasons: Bush felt she was too soft on decimating pristine wilderness, and she was too hung up on that breathable air issue."

-David Letterman

- The Joker


Joke: BINGO!

"President Bush is in France for the big G8 Summit. He's had quite a sense of humor with everything. Every time someone at the G8 Summit says G8, President Bush yells 'Bingo.'"

-David Letterman

- The Joker




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