2017
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10 Kilborn Jokes

Joke: Alert!

"I'm hoping they don't raise the alert to the top, which is just a black square that says 'soil yourself.'"

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Poor Bill!

"The word is that Bill Clinton is so distraught over Hillary's new book that he's been drinking. Sweet Lord, we've seen the chicks he hits on when he's sober!"

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Winner?

"Saturday night I watched the nine candidates during the Democratic presidential debate, and it was so boring that ABC picked it up as part of their fall schedule. Halfway through the debate Al Sharpton ordered a pizza to his podium. You know who the winner was? Anyone with a remote in their hand."

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Angry?

"There has been no electricity in Baghdad for a week and the people are angry. You would be angry too if you couldn't watch your brand new stolen TV."

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: We'll Get 'Em

"President Bush flew over Iraq in Air Force One, saw the devastation and said 'Don't worry about this, we'll get whoever did this.'"

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: What does it Take!

"In her book Hillary Clinton said she could have divorced her husband for all of his infidelities, but decided to get counseling instead. In a related story Bill Clinton announced the name of his new book is 'What Does It Take To Get This Woman To Leave Me?'"

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Lost

"North Korea may have built an atomic suitcase bomb that could slip into this country. The good news, the airlines lost it."

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Same Much...

"Gephardt said even though he and the other Democratic candidates have different views they all will give the same concession speech."

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Bush Plan...

"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'"

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker


Joke: Couple of Hillary Jokes!

"Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs comes out next week. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you'll want to sleep with an intern."

-Craig Kilborn

"There is a cold front moving across the country. Yeah, it's Hillary starting her book tour."

-Craig Kilborn

- The Joker




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