2017
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11 O'Brien Jokes

Joke: So Sorry!

'The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army.'

- Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Mall Santa!

This mall Santa seems insulted that I put down that protective paper before sitting on his lap.

Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: First for MSNBC!

'This week, the cable news channel MSNBC is celebrating their 7th anniversary. Coincidentally, MSNBC is also celebrating their 7th viewer.'

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: NFL 24/7

'The NFL has announced it is starting a channel that will cover nothing but NFL players, games and statistics 24 hours a day. Up until now, the only channel that covered the NFL 24 hours a day was 'Court TV.''

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Bad Decisions!

'Yesterday, the government announced that this year's budget deficit is going to be 455 billion dollars. A White House spokesman blamed the war in Iraq, the sluggish economy and Bush's decision to finance the movie 'From Justin to Kelly.''
-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Most Annoying Goes to...

'According to USA Today, President Bush is featured in television commercials for more than a dozen congressional candidates. In fact the Bush commercials are so effective, he's in line to replace the 'Dude you're getting a Dell' guy.'

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: The Traditional Way!

'This week the White House installed new software on its website that makes it harder for citizens to send an email to the President. Today the White House said, 'Americans can still contact Bush in the traditional way - by mailing a check.''

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Catching Up on World Affairs...

'I'm not worried about things in the world because yesterday President Bush told reporters that he is monitoring the situation in North Korea, very carefully. In fact today the president spent the whole day watching reruns of M.A.S.H.'

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Poor Horse!

'This week, the movie 'Seabiscuit', about a famous racehorse, opens and it is expected to be a big hit. In fact, they're already working on a sequel called, 'Glue-Stick.'

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Pizza Fun

'According to a brand new study by Italian scientists, eating one or more entire pizzas a week dramatically reduces the chance of getting cancer. Mainly because it's hard to get cancer after dying from a heart attack.'

-Conan O'Brien

- The Joker


Joke: Poor Guys ):

'Tonight, Major League Baseball held its annual All-Star Game. Or as the Mets call it, 'a quiet evening at home.''

- Conan O'Brien

- The Joker




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